How do I work on others? The four commentators who don’t want to know, how it affects others, and how you can influence the effect of your own? The distinction between self and foreign image is by now well known. 1 what you think about is your self image. 2. what the other you think is your external image. If you have a self – and a third-party image, is to assume that it is just as others.
And still two commentators are actually since that post their comments to everything: 3. what you think of the other (his third picture) 4. What the other is thinking (his self image) you imagine now, they talk to a person. Their two commentators are there and chew your comments in between just for you you hear: why the look so grim? Find stupid my idea?”hold grade! Smile! Don’t forget the eye contact.” As you have seen above, it is not only you so, but all other people also. In each interview, the four are except the real people Commentators there and influence our effect on the other. Because whether we like it or not: we often show what we think and therefore ruin our good effect. An example: You express your boss over a proposal. And he looked suddenly grim.
What will probably happen? They will probably conclude that he rejects your idea. How do you react to rejection? Perhaps unsafe, lose our ELAN, or get angry and show it to the other unconscious. What happens here is called mirroring. We reflect gestures, facial expressions, posture of our gaze. Continuously and often unconsciously. Researchers have discovered this ability in the mirror neurons of the brain. It is very useful, but also can harm our effect. Then, if we let too much by two commentators confuse us. Because: Perhaps the chef was not against your idea. Maybe is just an unpleasant comment by the head is shot him, was asked to do anything with your suggestion (I’m crap before my chip card in the Leave canteen!”). But how can you influence the four commentators? What you think about yourself and others, is part of the communication. It is not to delete. Also, you cannot change that you respond to others. But they do affect how. You can do two things to actively manage your effect: 1 assign your two commentators in the barriers. Speak an interior stop”If you realize that the comments hurt you. It is possible to turn off the sound, or to ignore the comments. This requires some practice, but very effective. 2. look in the eyes of others: I would so like to participate? What must I do to be different? Show yourself, as you would be seen by the others. Thus affect not only your two commentators, but also the two your opponent in your senses. Our example: It is possible to ignore the grim face of the chiefs, by quietly turning your inner commentator or turn off. In this case You say simply: as long as I not sure know that I’m really the trigger for his reaction, I pretend as if everything in my mind. If I confuse me now, my idea never convincingly over me.” And if the boss actually rejects your idea? Still keep talking with conviction about your idea and turn off comments ruin you. Their enthusiasm is reflected. Will convince you but your conversation partner. And if not? Then, have given everything, after all, and save your face until the very end. Stefanie de man,